A10-All the World’s a Stage

All the World’s a Stage (from William Shakespeare's play "As You Like It")

We checked into the new job offer per the wanted posters regarding another priest of the High Temple of Sigmar found stabbed in Victory Park. “Honest Ottokar”, the rabble-rouser, distributed fliers with grand titles of accusations but little to no evidence. 

At least the flier itself was good for 1 free drink at the Theatre Variete. Daily shows of: the hilarious Mootland Minstrels, the thrilling Erengrad Ensemble, and the talented Lena Stein playing her 10-stringed zither. These acts came to Skeggi about a month ago: could they be associated with the sudden death of priests?! We decided to observe each one.

2pm: It was a small theatre able to seat 50 patrons. The flier’s fine-print read “buy one to get one free”, with the beers cost 1 shilling each! At least we got close enough to the stage to see the trap floors in operation and ropes that controlled the curtains or lowered set pieces. The Mootland Minstrels was an entertaining 90 minutes of tricks & songs & small comedy by a halfling. The thin crowd in attendance gossiped based on Ottokar’s tidbits, “The Temple of Shallya is corrupt to let that priestess Katherine Hartung beat people up who don’t tithe.” “Ottokar blames wizards (especially the so-called Pious Magnus) for all the dead priests: Patti- devotee of Rhya, Ulric’s loyal son- Yan, even Klein- favoured of the holy Heldenhammer/Sigmar. Wasn’t there even a thieving Ranaldan also found dead?”

After the show, we sought Ottokar at the Wolf & Hobgoblin Inn. Ottokar planned to lead a protest against Shallya tomorrow at 2pm, “Shame when a priestess doesn’t perform her duties.” As for the Ulric priest, “Yan spoke his mind, stirring up trouble with rumors of past lore & grievances. Slept outside and got his throat cut.” As for Patti, “Jerad of the Red-Moon tavern was my source. He can tell you more about the devotee of Rhya who was killed a few months ago.” As for Klein of Sigmar, “Elder priest who worked at the orphanage. Taught with a painful paddle. Found cut ear-to-ear by a knife while sleeping just a few days ago.” Before leaving, Dargo asked for older pamphlets, wondering if other priests (Moor, Mann, or Stormfeld) were mentioned.

As we walked past the Temple of Shallya (service just ended), Rufus noticed a tabby-cat almost trampled by the departing worshippers. He momentarily locked eyes with the pale-green-eyed tabby before he became woozy and almost passed out. Dargo tried to catch the cat. Tulkir snared it with his bolo and offered it to Kruger as “another boat mouser.”

At the Temple of Sigmar, the war-priest Jacob offered a 60-gold reward for info regarding Klein Kalvin. As a lead left at the scene, we were given a rag with 10 parallel lines of dried blood. And that’s when Ranulf had a sudden case of severe flatulence…strange, as he hadn’t had anything to eat yet. Kruger noticed a mangy dog outside with its tongue hanging out, also farting. And that’s when Kruger began to sound off with LOUD cheek-flaps. Once again Tulkir used his bolo to capture the dog.

We still had time to visit the orphanage where sister Astrid Kraut led us to Klein’s room before she questioned, “Why his room? He was killed in the common room before he retired for bed. He was strict with the kids- spare the rod, spoil the child he always said. The other priests disapproved his methods. And questioned why he’d have some kids sit on his lap.” And that’s when she mentioned seeing a tabby-cat hanging around. And also mentioned the 3 acts now performing in the theatre also performed at the orphan.  As we rushed to make the next show, Tulkir headed back to the boat with the captured cat and dog. He was already suspicious of them as either wizards’ familiars or changelings per Kruger’s mention.

6pm (The Erengrad Ensemble will perform a play written by William Spearshake): Already sold out, we scrambled for tickets. Kruger & Dargo bought theirs (higher price) from other patrons. Rufus brazenly bullied his ticket from a meek patron. Ranulf [beneath notice] walked thru the backdoor as if one of the performers. Kruger found one booth occupied by a lone lady- he joined her after pleasantry introduction and offer of wine. Lady Beatrice Mittlemoth chatted, “I’ve seen this play many times. Quite drool but then I’m here to be seen. I fell out of favor with a far-away court where I used to entertain.” Kruger responded, “Have you been to Altdorf? That’s where I too saw this play, about a king who doesn’t listen to his advisors.” Their awkward silence was eased when the performers took stage.

The play unfolded as these two expected. That is, until the final curtain call, when Ranulf unexpectedly joined the performers in their bows to the audience. The awkwardness broken when he quite impressively sang a lyrical song “till the next time.” Dargo threw coins on stage…and even at the bartender and bouncer who began ushering everyone out. Kruger kissed the lady’s hand, “Will I see you again at the next show?” As he escorted her out, he couldn’t help but notice her pendant and rings were costume jewelry. As Ranulf lingered on stage, he managed to stay behind long enough to inquire about the next act. “Lena? 20yo, red-hair, quite attractive. From the old world. I hear she fell out of favor till a few years ago. She’s become VERY successful, with all of her performances sold out. She and the other performers stay at the Bridgehouse Inn.”

Boat Scene: They wandered back to the boat where they found Tulkir dunking the cat & dog (each in its own cage), “I kept telling them it would stop if they’d just admit they were demons.” Even the deckhands (Conrad & Detric) lent a hand as they provided the pike Tulkir used to hold the cage underwater. Kruger intervened with a test to see how their original boat-cat (Skitter) got along with the new one: inconclusive. Tulkir resumed the dunking as everyone else left for the next show.

11pm show: The barkeep didn’t even question Ranulf taking the stage with the excuse he came early to get Lena’s room ready. Before he could search the room, Lena walked in with two black eyes and a broken nose, “I was mugged! At least they didn’t steal my zither. You’re supposed to help me? Do you know octaves?? Meanwhile, Kruger sat in the booth, patiently waiting for Lady Beatrice who never appeared. Dargo stayed in a corner for a better view of the stage in expectation of something going down. Like the rest of the audience, he too was surprised when Lena took the stage to reveal her battered and bruised face.

Lena ignored their gasps as she began to strum her 10-stringed zither which quieted the crowd. Until Ranulf joined in with his singing (Entertain -1, Fortune -4). The audience booed as they lost their cool. But most shocking was when Lena slashed Ranulf with the bladed neck of her zither! Dargo jumped on stage to grab her weapon: his mind flooded with tortured scenes of burning hell [3 corruption]. As he dropped the zither, Rufus jumped on stage to punch Lena, causing her to fall backwards. She rushed off stage. Putting pressure on his bleeding shoulder, Ranulf kicked the zither off the stage and out of her reach (and luckily missed cutting any patron in its path). Kruger stayed in his booth watching the fight unfold as the bouncer rushed forward with his cosh and knocked Rufus unconscious.

By the time Dargo got to the back door, Lena was gone. We hurried to the Bridgehouse Inn thinking she might try to escape town but she never returned. We returned to the boat where we found Tulkir still dunking the dog, “He’s going to crack.” Frustrated at the hours spent dunking the animals, Tulkir just upped and killed the dog: it disintegrated into goo and melted away! Kruger immediately announced “DEMON!” When Dargo dunked the cat, the line went slack: the cat was gone!

Next Day: We took the zither (carefully carried in a blanket) to the Temple of Sigmar. And that’s where we learned the war-priest Jacob had been murdered last night: stabbed under the ear. A lady’s wig left behind: Kruger recognized it as belonging to Lady Beatrice. Jacob’s hammer had blood on it. We put 2 and 2 together: Lady Beatrice was Lena in disguise, Lena’s broken nose and bashed face was a result of Jacob defending himself, the rag with streaks of blood was 10 parallel bloody lines when Lena wiped off the strings of her zither!

And as we reported that murder, we learned Katherine, the priestess of Shallya, had also been murdered sometime earlier.

BACKGROUND

Lena had sold her soul to the devil who gave her the magical zither. The cat & dog were Slaneesh followers who pissed her off and thus were turned into cat & dog familiars. The cat made people fall asleep while the dog made people fart.

But why kill Jacob? Turns out, he was the lone member of the Temple of Sigmar. He had led a foolish trek of other Sigmarites into the jungle where they were ambushed. He cowardly fled as the lone survivor.

NEXT SESSION: A11-Return to Port Reaver

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